In the workplace, I often encounter people who claim to be "straightforward." However, I've noticed that they are often only blunt with subordinates or colleagues, while being extremely cautious and polite toward their superiors. This "straightforwardness" is selective—those they deem unimportant or easily dismissed become the targets of their "straight talk."
When I finished my internship, I gave my supervisor a small gift to express my gratitude. At our farewell dinner, he mentioned the gift and said he was moved, offering to toast me. As I stood up to respond, a fellow intern whispered nearby, "Oh, she just knows how to play the game. She's nothing like me. I guess I'm just not good at these superficial social niceties."
I felt a surge of anger and almost argued with her, but I held back because we were at a gathering.
Later, when I told a friend about it, she said, "That's called being savvy. She doesn't know how to show gratitude, so she labels your politeness as being 'calculating.' No one forced her to give a gift; she just thinks others are wrong for doing so."
Many people like to label themselves as "authentic" or "unconventional," equating bluntness with sincerity and directness. This is a profound mistake. True sincerity requires genuinely considering others' feelings and doing your best to make them feel comfortable, rather than causing them awkwardness. Being direct does not mean lacking manners or cultivation; this is a dangerous misuse of concepts.
Humans spend their entire lives learning, including how to speak, from simple sounds to complex discourse. There is no such thing as "that's just how I am"; it's simply that you are unwilling to change.
How you choose to be is your own business, and no one is forcing you to change. But if you expect others to adapt to your refusal to change, or if you judge those who are different as being wrong, then you are in the wrong.
Everyone must take responsibility for their own actions. So, don't expect me to bear the weight of your "straightforwardness"—that is your emotion, and it has nothing to do with me.
Having a straight heart doesn't mean you must have a sharp tongue. Please filter your words before they cause harm.
If someone tells me, "I'm just very blunt, please don't take it personally," I will reply, "I'm sorry, but I do take it personally."
