The mind is naturally calm, so why seek externally? Cultivate the mind in stillness; let thoughts remain centered. Cultivate virtue through speech; let words be kind. Cultivate compassion; avoid greed and anger. Speak with truth; avoid falsehoods. Cultivate purity; follow the teachings. Act with goodness; do no evil. Cultivate a broad mind; embrace both good and evil. Speak with gentleness; bring joy to listeners. Live with integrity; honor your parents. Cultivate mercy; avoid harming others. Live purely; help others selflessly. Smile often; build virtuous connections. Cultivate a mind free of attachment; do not crave fame or wealth.
Some say that being free of attachments is a fashionable kind of detachment, but I believe that behind such casualness often lies a certain loneliness and desolation. Humans are, after all, emotional beings who need spiritual connection and the care of friendship.
To love someone is to grant them freedom. If you use love as an excuse to stifle them and deny them their own space, their heart will only drift further away. This is true not only for lovers but also for parents and children. Any kind of love built on the basis of control, where one party gives endlessly while completely ignoring the other's feelings, will only make the recipient feel increasingly burdened.