There is an old Russian proverb: “If you want to sweep the world, start by cleaning the steps in front of your own house.” However, when you decide to stop complaining and those around you continue to complain, what should you do? Do not try to change them, because a person can only truly change when they genuinely want to. Being forced may only produce the opposite effect. To curb the complaints of those around you, as Gandhi said, “We must live the way we want others to follow.” When someone agrees with you, they will naturally follow in your footsteps.
Before complaining, think: if we are honest with ourselves, we will realize that the events in life truly deserving of complaint—expressing grief, pain, or dissatisfaction—are very few. Most complaints are merely “auditory contagions” that harm our happiness and sense of fulfillment.
Complaining is like bad breath. When it comes from others, we notice it; when it comes from ourselves, we often ignore it. When things go wrong and you say, “Of course it would happen?!” or “Don’t you know?” you are actually sending the message that you are waiting for bad things to happen. The world “hears” this and may bring even more misfortune. Trying to change others or reverse the situation is complaining. Wishing reality were different from the present is also complaining, not merely stating facts.
Those who believe complaining is natural will go nowhere, endlessly circling the same unhappy starting point. Our focus should be on the results we wish to achieve, not on events we do not want.
When you stop expressing negative thoughts verbally, your mind will generate more joyful motivations. The mind is like a factory of ideas, constantly operating; when negative ideas lose their market, the factory will rebuild and start producing positive and happy thoughts instead.
