Recently, a topic trended on Weibo: “It is ill-mannered for a girl to squat on the subway.” I fail to see how this has anything to do with manners.
We often see a girl squatting in a corner, but we rarely know her life story or the reason behind her action. Perhaps she was just tired and needed a moment of rest. It just happened to be seen by you, who then took a photo, posted it online, and forcibly associated it with the concept of “manners.”
True manners, by definition, involve knowing how to restrain one’s emotions and avoiding hasty judgments.
Can taking unauthorized photos and arbitrarily speculating or criticizing others really be considered a well-mannered act?
I once watched a British reality show where staff disguised themselves as homeless people to beg for food at a restaurant. At the same time, the production team arranged for a well-dressed, elegant lady to be present. The homeless man approached the lady and humbly asked if he could take a short break. Instead of showing kindness, the lady shouted loudly, attracting the attention of the entire restaurant.
As her frustration escalated, her words became harsh. She insulted him without any regard for his dignity, saying, “A filthy person like you is not worthy of sitting with me.”
At that moment, a man sitting nearby couldn’t stand it anymore. He walked over to the lady with a slight frown and said calmly and with restraint: “Perhaps you have never known what a person goes through during the darkest period of their life. No one’s life is smooth sailing without any bumps. Right now, this person might be trapped in such a vortex. All he needs is a bit of help and understanding.”
Afterwards, he led the homeless man to his own table and ordered lunch for him. It was only then that the production team revealed the ruse. The man was shocked and moved. He admitted that when he was young, he had also been a homeless wanderer due to rebelliousness. At that time, it was an elderly person who helped him out of his predicament. The old man had said: “I don’t know what you have been through, but I know you must have your reasons. Therefore, I choose to believe that you can pull yourself out of it.”
It was that act of kindness that rekindled the passion he had lost in his heart. He ate that meal with tears streaming down his face, overwhelmed with emotion. Filled with gratitude, he chose to return home.
It reminds me of a phrase I once heard: Do not judge a person carelessly when you do not know what they have experienced.
